Dads.

From time to time, I have days where I really miss my dad.
It's understandable, since he's still a huge part of who I am and since I lost him at only 18 years old.

When my Mother remarried Craig, I was anxious to blend our families and make it work. Of course, it didn't go as I had hoped and we struggled in many ways. Years passed with bitter feelings, fights left unresolved and hurtful words lingering in the air.

After I got home from my mission, I wrote him a letter of apology and left it at his door. We had a phone conversation and decided to mutually forgive and move forward.

When I married Edward, Craig's heart softened even further towards me. I know he likes Edward a lot and is happy that I married him. He knows that Ed makes me better.

My father died in 2006. Craig's father passed away 3 days ago. Both had cancer that changed their bodies and took their vibrancy.

Craig is a very different man than my father. He is concerned for my mother in a way that a parent is concerned for their children. He is very scheduled, thought out and purposeful about what he does. He is a do-it-now kind of g
uy and his favorite phrase still lingers in my mind, "better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it." He is a good man.

But Craig never really understood Joe or I. Not why we had such a hard time with our dad's death or why it was a struggle to accept him as our moms new husband. I think we all struggle to understand something we haven't been through.

Craig called me today. (My heart always stops, hoping he doesn't have bad news about my mom.) He started to cry and I cried too. He apologized for never giving his condolences when we lost our father and said he wanted to now. We talked about his dad for a bit, agreed that cancer is dumb, and ended our call.

Short and sweet and a really good piece of closure for my heart.

Craig isn't perfect. Neither am I. But we're getting there. And now we both have angels on the other side to help us.