"didn't i see you, when you thought you'd never stand out?"

my 6th grade yearbook picture

I was making a left turn onto a street I've known my whole life. You dip into a ditch and then right back up where the rest of the world sits happily. As I made my left, I almost didn't see a young girl walking into the ditch. She looked right into my eyes as I swerved to avoid her, and I recognized her glare. It was an eerie feeling. I know I must have gone to school with this girl, but I don't remember her name. I thought about her gaze as I made a right turn up the street to my house. Who is she? Why have I felt her look at me that way before? Have I passed her a million times without seeing her? Is she someone who has been invisible her whole life? I remember when I was invisible. When I was the outcast, the loser and the punching bag for every sixth grader I knew. It was a rough time in my life, but in my High School years I gained a lot of respect and attention and eventually even became the Homecoming Queen. How then, did I not see this girl, if I once was in her place? I'm not saying I ever made fun of her, or even did anything to wrong her, but I didn't SEE her.
I was recently payed a very nice compliment by someone I hold in the highest of respects. They said I was the person they could always count on to say hello to people and introduce myself and get to know them, make people feel seen. I can't help but think that the statement is only true for my life in San Diego, but false for the life I led in DHS. Now that I'm back here, it's hard not to think of who I've been, and how I don't really know if she was everything I am now. Of course I've grown, and I know I've changed...I just gotta ask myself, if it's always been in me...why didn't I see that girl? How can I try harder to see who the Lord needs me to see?
I'll be going on a mission soon, and my hope is that I will see the people who feel the most unseen. I hope the Lord will use my willing heart to reach out to the one's who need to know the Lord sees them. I know that's what got me through middle school. If I see that girl again, I'm gonna stop and ask her name...maybe even ask her to hang out sometime, or give her a pass along card ;)