papers

i stayed up all night and finished my mission papers.
a couple doctor appointments and i'm good as gone.
wow.

moving in with shelly.
the kind of change i need.

quitting my old job.
more time for...life.

it's one am and i should be asleep.
but i can't seem to slow my mind enough...
life is just happening and i don't know how to make it slow a bit.

i know ed's going to propose...
i feel it.
i sense it.
and he's really bad at covering that sort of thing up.

here i am.
so sure.
so ready.
why is my first instinct to fight it?

i don't wanna fight.
i want this.

a mission.
a husband.
a family.

time to settle down...
to settle into the rest of my life.

wow.